( This is a deep one... just
A warning, of sorts. )
I'm a huge fuckin advocate for applying what you learn from the lessons, both good & bad, that life deals you. Huge. I'm also the type of person who can't stomach hypocritical shit & on the rare occasion I partake in hypocrisy, I immediately correct it - whether it be through an explanation, a change or an apology. I'm the type of person that is capable of admitting when I'm wrong, apologizing when I should and I am always over analyzing every word, phrase, thought, step, choice, outcome, effect etc. etc. that I make or do as well as paying intense attention to the very few in my life. If I give advice, its from a personal place of authenticity. If advice isn't called for, I'm fully capable and decent at being the "listener," - I offer different perspectives because it's ridiculous for me to determine that anyone is legitimately wrong for feeling a certain way.... instead I just offer other outlooks.
Essentially, there's waaaaay worse out in the world than me. No, I won't assist you in any kind of pity party, no I won't "tell you what you want to hear," & no - sugar coating is never a fuckin option. That being said, I wouldn't want anyone in my life doing any of that funk faking with me..... My "RareBreed," tat is mostly a sad reminder of how few worthy people are out there for me to hold in positive regard. I shouldn't still be learning how people generally always are....my thinking that maybe this or that person is different is fuckin stupid of me.... they're all the Damn same....
Such a disappointment.... Sadly and strangely appreciated - the days of taking the risk of "letting people in," are done. The days of allowing people into my daughters life only for her to be let down when all of a sudden they're not part of her life due to their own choices of being purely shit... yeah, those days are over too....
I won't allow myself to feel these ways again... or run the risks involved by letting people in my life...you'd think the older I get, the more authenticity I'd find in people. Thats just not the case.... the older I get the more I unfortunately learn the depths of misery loving company and how dense most are to the rarity of something real.
Moving on... forward. And away from the dumb shit.
