"Learn Some Shit.... "

|| Learn Some Shit: Wisdom, GET SOME. ||

If you can't separate your superficial needs, for the betterment of a "friend in need," than you don't deserve that friend.

If you are so naive as to not grasp that eventually EV-ERY-THING comes to light, then you may wanna put a vice grip on your gum bumper, otherwise, you'll wind up with no damn body to give 2 farts and a queef about you and yours. ( Yeah, I said it. )

You may not realize it, but it's painfully obvious, so damn obvious even the BLIND can see how your attempts at convincing everybody around you that you're truly this person, you pretend to be. We can tell. We just care or cared enough to essentially not call ya'll out on it. But, truly, it's apparent. The only person you're convincing is yourself, the rest of us feel bad.

People will get further keepin' it real, and being themselves. It's unfortunate how hard that is for so many people.

POSITIVITY:

I am so blessed by the few people I have bonds with that I don't have to question or speculate on. I love you guys, and whether we speak often, or hardly at all. The appreciation is real.

I am again, so blessed for the valuable conversations that I am lucky enough to have with people whose only interest is to on be genuine, and say what they mean, based on how they feel.

I am SO SO SO SO BLESSED for my daughter, who puts everything and everybody into perspective. Sometimes I wonder if certain folks, who don't have children, and act a reckless fool, is because of the lack of offspring. I think it depends, but for me? Gabi IS perspective and purpose, all in one.

I am so thankful that I don't have to jump through hoops of giving when I just don't have it, to gain friends, family, respect, regard. I am thankful that I am fully aware that keeping it real with yourself, is what enables us to keep it real with others, and allows us to have, "quality over quantity," and my small circle, is beautiful and definitely deserves more attention.

I am thankful to of been through the shit I have, good and bad, because the lessons i've learned, I am able tooooo share with others, and strength, and understanding can really be contagious if you allow yourself to learn, and be effected by another human being.

Essentially?
I am thankful to be me, because being, "like them," isn't an option.

- FAB.

"RESULTS: You don't know SHIT."

||  RESULTS: You don't know SHIT. ||

Know what irritates me?
( This is where you say, "What, Courtney? What irritates you?" )
Well, i'll fuckin' tell ya...

People who pretend to be highly educated on somethin' particular, but clearly, don't even know the basics - and people who "One Up," every fuckin' thing you say. And then, to add another type of personality defect that i've decided I just can't support in a fellow adult, to the depths that I am refusing to be any real stock in these types of people from now on in - are the types that just don't fuckin' see the bigger picture, or think before they speak.

Sounds simple... But, apparently, not only do I have "RareBreed" tatted across my chest because I am one - I've learned that I am also the last of many different dying breeds. One, of which, is people who actually take pride in what comes out of their mouths, people who think before they speak, as to not open the door for miscommunication - leaving no "grey area," - the type of person that not only is effective, but puts authentic thought/concern into conversations of a certain severity. Not just some fuckin' nonsensical gum bumping.....

Examples? Sure.

People who pretend to understand what someone has went through. Look, "I totally get it," and, "i've been there, I understand," is some real easy shit to fuckin' say, but in a recent situation, I first hand witnessed somebody give some of the most foul advice, and say some of the most under handed, offensive, and fuckin' ridiculous shit - but still claim it's basically, "coming from the heart," - No, the fuck it wasn't coming from the heart, it was coming from your uncanny fuckin' need to be relevant in a conversation that you had no fuckin' business being in. If you fuckin' believe that you're permitted to determine what certain life time trauma's mean to somebody else - adult and/or child, than you give meaning to the saying, "Small towns breed small minds." It's absolutely offensive to have somebody who hasn't lived out a certain situation, and honestly, has no experience in a certain dynamic form of relationship, sit there and attempt to school you, while being insensitive and obviously uninterested in the BEST interest....

Here's what is worse, you'd think that giving your friends truly thought out advice would be something you'd ONLY do, right? Wrong. Some peoples NEED to be relevant in a conversation, or paid attention to, unfortunately has the ability to override the decency we're supposed to have as self proclaimed, "friends," when giving advice, on ridiculously deep topics. See, i'm very particular about what I am willing to speak on, or drop advice on. I first, cover what I believed to be, "the basics," ( but ummm, the "basics," don't seem to matter to everybody, which disturbed the shit outta me. ) I have to KNOW what I am talking about, before I begin speaking fro an, "educated on this shit," stand point. Otherwise, I am the listener, and I am learning. In addition, if I am giving advice, I always am careful on my word choices, and make sure that what I am saying, is about to be perceived nothing other THAN the right fuckin' way, and trust me, if i'm willing to give you advice, the advice is coming from a place of experience, not some shit I saw on fuckin' TV, or something I heard that my Uncle's, neighbors, twice removed cousin's, Aunt's, Brother fuckin' went through in 1997. Kindly get the fuck outta here with that shit. How dare some people think they have some right to hop into the position of "Advice Giver," when they lack the basic requirements to do so - which is experience, usually. It's just another person wanted to be heard that badly, and it's fuckin' foul.

I am sick to death of these types of people - the types lying about their history, their pasts, to feel more validated as a "grown up," - when all that accomplishes is ANYTHING but that. I am sick to death of these people that can't let somebody have, "their moment," because heaven forbid somebody else get the attention, they must "one up," them with something they did more, better, - whatthefuckever. I believe a lot of this shit is TEXT BOOK, "pathological liar," tendencies. Straight up, Google that shit, google whatthefuck that means, and if it starts making you feel a little guilty inside, then headbutt the nearest solid surface.

Ya know, over the years, yes i've made mistakes with my friendships, but that was over the years. I learned, very early in life, how rare good bonds are, how rare genuine concern from other people is, and how blessed each of us really is, to even be able to count on ONE hand the "few true," we've maintained. I appreciate the good, and I appreciate the few, and those that are so fuckin' stuck on themselves, to such extents that they don't even realize what they're destroying? Too fuckin' bad. There's not a damn thing to excuse such carelessness - the giving shit advice, just for the sake of hearing yourself talk, the talking shit behind the backs of people who've been nothing but good, giving and true to you. You ain't that fuckin' cool, these people you're losing don't fuckin' regenerate, especially at this age. It's embarrassing. But, see, these types won't even register these types of feelings that would cause them to feel wrong, or make them feel as though certain aspects of them need to be changed. They wind up being the blamers, the finger pointers, the fuuuuuckin' assholes that feel validated only when they're able to "one up," somebody, or disrespect them behind the scenes to others.

Good luck with those fuckin' methods.
There just isn't any straddling the fuckin' middle, you either respect your friendships with people, or you choose not to. So, when you make the choice as a fuckin' adult to not respect one of your friendships, OWN IT, and hold yourself accountable, if you're capable of even doing THAT much.

Assholes.

Fraud 'Friends' : Faking the Funk, for Fuckery

It's official, I have finally hit the capacity for fuckery - to such extremes that if I don't release it to the Internet Super Highway ( the internet, for those confused. ) then i'll wind up exploding out here in the real world. And well, i'd prefer to not put myself in a type of scenerio that could add to the damn fines I already have accumulated. Capeesh?

Cig? Check.
Lighter? Check.
Pissy? Check.
Perfect, here I go....
|| Fraud 'Friends' : Faking the Funk, for Fuckery! ||

I find it marginally disturbing that people apparently view themselves on such an insanely high pedestal that they feel that there is some endless surplus of eager people, waving their hands in the air, "pick meee, pick meeeeeee," hoping and praying that they're chosen to be friends with them. Get fuckin' real - we're either on the "other side to 30," ( which is 25+ ) or in our 30's, and what it boils down to is this - that shit ain't fuckin' cute, in fact, it's senseless. I, for one, am too damn old for this type of namby pamby bullshit - there's simply NO SUCH THING as 2nd chances with people I have friendships with, whether it be in the beginning, months in, years invested - doesn't matter. We're too old to be fuckin' our friendships up. We, as grown folks, choose which bonds prevail, which ones function and which ones ultimately fail. So, when somebody makes the ridiculous decision to be reckless enough to dent, disrespect and ultimately destroy their relationship with me? It's their loss. Especially at this point in my life. Am I salty? Of course. It's always an unfortunate realization when you learn just how off your perception on this type of thing is. But, really - it's also an unfortunate favor, because knowing sooner than later, about who is authentic, and on the same wave length, is important, too. Nonetheless, I have a very small circle, and every fuckin' time this happens, I stay thinkin', "How the fuck can this circle of mine, get any smaller?" Well, there's always some aggresively dense type to remind me, "Courtney, it can always get smaller, you're just gunna have to be even more cautious about every single person that comes anywhere near you and yours," -- and damn, that's some bullshit.



I honestly just can't grasp where these people get off. I truly don't. There is nothing okay with playing, "make believe," at this age, concerning a friendship. There's a reason certain people aren't held in regard to very many, and there's even more of a reason that these same people have no idea of the rarity that comes with having a "real friend," because clearly, they've just never managed to keep it real enough, long enough, to experience the phenomena that IS a "real friend." Regardless of lack of experiencing it, that does not, at any point, excuse fuckerish behavior - and by fuckerish behavior, I mean any damn thing that is disrespectful towards one of your friendships, we're grown, you're aware of the choices, the shit you've chosen to say, do - the shit you've chosen to lie about, and the way you're willing to look someone in the eyes and fake the funk, meanwhile, accepting all the good from that friendship, whether it be emotional, financial, monotary, whatthefuckever - the bitch smack from reality will come when you realize you should of maybe got some humbleeeee about yourselves, because certain unique and solid bonds, don't come around frequently, and you'll soon realize, it's true what they say, "Don't know what you got, til it's gone.." Well, believe me, it's fuckin' gone.